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View Full Version : Just some end of the day jokes to reboot your brain!!



allek@t
09-08-2008, 05:30 PM
After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...

Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?

Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...

Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply...

Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files...

Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it...

Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command...

For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded...

Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem...

Customer: I knew it!

Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.EXE' at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes...

About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer...

Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking...

Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

Customer: MS-DOS 6.22...

Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out...

When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again...

Customer: I need a new power supply...

Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?

Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply...

Technician: What did he tell you?

Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE...
************************************************** ********
A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want." Again the programmer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The programmer said, "Look, I'm a programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend -- but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
************************************************** ********
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up the screen.

Seconds before the end, a bolt of lightning struck taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.

Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.

Satan is astonished. He stutters, "But how?! I lost everything, yet
Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?!"

God chuckles, "Jesus saves."

MisfitTom138
09-08-2008, 05:34 PM
You have too much time on your hands. haha :laugh2:

allek@t
09-08-2008, 05:52 PM
I do not.
I just had too much rockstar today!

MisfitTom138
09-08-2008, 09:30 PM
I do not.
I just had too much rockstar today!


Be careful, you can get hepatitus that way...oh you meant the drink.

NVRSTUKTJ
09-09-2008, 12:15 PM
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
>
ABBOTT: Mac?
>
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
>
ABBOTT : Your computer?
>
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
>
ABBOTT: Mac?
>
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
>
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
>
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
>
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
>
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
>
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
>
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
>
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
>
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
>
ABBOTT: Office.
>
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
>
ABBOTT: I just did.
>
COSTELLO: You just did what?
>
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
>
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
>
ABBOTT: Yes.
>
COSTELLO: For my office?
>
ABBOTT: Yes
>
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
>
ABBOTT:! Office.
>
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
>
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Window's.
>
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
>
ABBOTT: Word
>
COSTELLO: What word?
>
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
>
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
>
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
>
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
>
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?
>
ABBOTT: Money.
>
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
>
ABBOTT: Money.
>
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
>
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
>
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
>
ABBOTT: Money.
>
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
>
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
>
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
>
ABBOTT: One copy.
>
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
>
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
>
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
>
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
>
(A few days later)
>
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
>
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'!

offroadaz
09-09-2008, 12:34 PM
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>

..........................................


hah

allek@t
09-09-2008, 12:48 PM
Awesome!

allek@t
09-09-2008, 12:49 PM
Be careful, you can get hepatitus that way...oh you meant the drink.
Fortunately for me, I am out of tommy lee's radar......*shivers* ewe. i cant believe i just said his name ack!:pinch: