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View Full Version : Why Woman are Crabby....



jeeperapril
08-26-2008, 11:55 AM
This explains a lot!

Why Women Are Crabby:

We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.


Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry *******s and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John . Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a wholewatermelon and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while theOB?says, 'Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar Calm down and push. 'Just one more good push' (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
%$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?


When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause', the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned 'buds' or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...


So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. :fashizzle:

ok, thanks to all that realized this is a joke, I did not write it, did not state I think it is right, it was meant as a joke to get some folks to laugh, guess it went over some of your heads. so thread closed....geezzzz.....:aagh:

OlneyJeeps
08-26-2008, 12:36 PM
Not to be unsympathetic, but all these things you list are our (males) fault because....?

jeeperapril
08-26-2008, 12:38 PM
Not to be unsympathetic, but all these things you list are our (males) fault because....?

Never said it was...I just hear alot of men talking and asking why are woman so crabby etc....well here is one answer, and a funny one too!!! lighten up dude....just a joke posted nothing else behind it:wings:

mingoglia
08-26-2008, 12:45 PM
I always tell people women are crabby because they didn't have fun toys as kids. Boys blow crap up, make a mess, smash cars, blow more things up, light crap on fire, etc.... Girls play with dolls. Not one doll, but they have 30 dolls. They're all the same, but different. With such little variety it's no wonder they're so mental. ;)

AZJeepdad
08-26-2008, 12:47 PM
This is the price you pay for multiple "O's" :laugh2:

Tom

allek@t
08-26-2008, 12:53 PM
muahahahahahahahahah


God thats soooooo true.......

allek@t
08-26-2008, 12:56 PM
I always tell people women are crabby because they didn't have fun toys as kids. Boys blow crap up, make a mess, smash cars, blow more things up, light crap on fire, etc.... Girls play with dolls. Not one doll, but they have 30 dolls. They're all the same, but different. With such little variety it's no wonder they're so mental. ;)

I used to barbecue my barbies. My mom stopped buying them when i took a GI joe head and melted it on to barbie.

Ken was even worse......Dont even get me started on skipper.

She really started to worry when watched He-man and transformers and GI joe, more than i did the care bears, or my little pony, or the smurfs......


And she really really got stressed when she discovered i hated shoes, launching them out of the car window along the interstate.......

*sigh* to be young and free again........

jeeperapril
08-26-2008, 12:57 PM
This is the price you pay for multiple "O's" :laugh2:

Tom


LOL!!!!:drummer:

jeeperapril
08-26-2008, 01:00 PM
I used to barbecue my barbies. My mom stopped buying them when i took a GI joe head and melted it on to barbie.

Ken was even worse......Dont even get me started on skipper.

She really started to worry when watched He-man and transformers and GI joe, more than i did the care bears, or my little pony, or the smurfs......


And she really really got stressed when she discovered i hated shoes, launching them out of the car window along the interstate.......

*sigh* to be young and free again........


LOL, My Grandmother raised me, and I have pictures of me on Easter, all dressed up with the hat and all, I have my baby buggie, my dolls, and my Texaco gas pump, and tonka toys and match box cars, I used to fill up the baby buggie with the gas pump! I hated shoes and dress's!!!! I had male and female toys. and I loved playing like I was in the Roller Derby on my skates, I would knock the S--t out of anyone that skated near me!!!

06GrnRubi
08-26-2008, 01:26 PM
Can't do anything about a lot of your issues, but if women would give men more of what they really want they wouldn't find themselves in a motherly way. :oops:

Number 7
08-26-2008, 01:28 PM
Geez April, sorry your experience as a woman has been so crummy.

d

BushDawg
08-26-2008, 01:28 PM
.

azshtr
08-26-2008, 02:43 PM
You think its easy being a man! Try living with a woman!

Henthorn
08-26-2008, 03:09 PM
"Women are crabby"


Fixed the thread title for you...

Twister_ems
08-26-2008, 04:32 PM
We put up with it :D

knockonit
08-26-2008, 05:18 PM
Bummer April, they have operations to cure it, ya know

I am the oldest of ten and the only boy, then got married and still am after 35 years and have four daughters, so don't think any of that has to do with crabby, its just a state of mind,
IMO
:)

azshtr
08-26-2008, 05:28 PM
I think April just needs a little understanding and compassion, and a hug... and maybe a drink, and a little special pill:)

AZJeepdad
08-27-2008, 06:10 AM
I see no explanation or reason for this thread to be closed/locked. Therefore I've opened it back up. Have fun and keep it clean folks:)

Tom

djui5
08-27-2008, 09:13 AM
Women may be crabby sometimes, but I'd be willing to bet they wouldn't trade being a woman for anything in the world. :)

rockreadyyj07
08-27-2008, 09:25 AM
i think its funny, and i agree women do have a tuffer time growing up. More sh t to deal with. My wife laughed her as off

allek@t
08-27-2008, 10:37 AM
I think the original post by april was meant to be a funny ha ha joke....like joke of the day or something.....


I was funny!

06GrnRubi
08-27-2008, 10:39 AM
Comments deleted, because April is right. It was meant to be a joke, and I got carried away.

Sorry.
Now where did that apology thread go?

allek@t
08-27-2008, 10:48 AM
It seems as though everyone is knocking april for posting this. Why?

(dont start in on me about defending her either)

I t ' s a j o k e, treat it like one....

jeeperapril
08-27-2008, 10:49 AM
I wonder how many times April shot down a nice guy in high school because he wasn't cool enough to date. Or made fun of some guy. You get the idea.

It's no picnic being a guy drowing up either.

Grow up.

Dude it is a joke, I did not write it, or endorse it, I just figured some woman on this site may get a laugh out of it. I do not appreciate your comment, by the way how is drowing up going?, looks like you still are!!! Lighten up folks I closed this once due to these type of comments, and someone opened it again, thanks alot! I closed it, should have been left closed, thank you! :aagh:

rockreadyyj07
08-27-2008, 10:56 AM
leave it open and let the haters whine lol

Henthorn
08-27-2008, 10:57 AM
shoulda said why you closed it :D

Just kidding.

Guys its a joke, and it was kinda funny!

Howyadoin
08-27-2008, 11:06 AM
I'm confused, what's the problem? I thought it was pretty humorous.:laugh2:

knockonit
08-27-2008, 11:18 AM
me too, only reality set in, and I'm still wondering.
hehe

OlneyJeeps
08-27-2008, 11:38 AM
I think the original post by april was meant to be a funny ha ha joke....like joke of the day or something.....


I was funny!


as was my post:aagh::aagh:

allek@t
08-27-2008, 11:51 AM
Oh i figured yours was.....but its just really crazy how everyone else is bashing april for posting a joke.

AZJeepdad
08-27-2008, 05:04 PM
I don't know April, however I did realize it was a funny and replied accordingly:smug: Those complainers need to lighten up because the stress and frustration is gonna give you an ulcer:grin:

Tom

jeeperapril
08-27-2008, 05:10 PM
Comments deleted, because April is right. It was meant to be a joke, and I got carried away.

Sorry.
Now where did that apology thread go?

Your forgiven, have a happy one now! :angel: